Your Nose, Your Mouth, and Satan's Soiled Underpants

A very serious pandemic has been spread all over our faces, noses, and mouths. And it stinks. In this pandemic, silence is deadly.

At long last, Matthew’s NFT minting silence comes to an end with the minting of Satan’s Soiled Underpants. Artwork by my dad, Mark Lawler. 🙏. Now available on Dartroom.

There is a 4 letter word that starts with ‘M’ that I’m more than reluctant to use here — for it is tired, dirty, and more full of holes than Swiss cheese. Like your mother doing your laundry, I’m gonna throw out an overused undergarment we should have tossed many wears ago— this particular artifact is done. It has been used over and over again to divide us from each other, full throttle since March 2020. And I’m now calling it exactly what it is — ‘Satan’s soiled underpants’, instead of the 4 letter farce of protection you’ve been sold by every single branch of SAMO© Corp. Consider it my part to help the collective improve its vocabulary and elevate consciousness. 👍

When ‘people’ started wearing shards’ of satan’s massively soiled underpants over their mouth and nose in March of 2020 because their television sets told them to — I was shocked, to say the least. But it was the follow-up that really triggered me —any attempt at forcing ME to wear Satan’s soiled underpants over MY nose and mouth — was an unwanted experience I never imagined I would have. I could smell the streaky spells from miles and miles away — and I wanted ZERO participation in the celebration of it.

“Satan literally shat on that, repeatedly! You’re breathing in dangerous toxins! It’s not good for your health!”, I would exclaim to people in danger, wearing satan’s soiled underpants over their mouth and nose in their cars, on their bikes, sprinting around a track, and especially while shopping in grocery stores. They looked at me, stunned — unable to comprehend that Satan’s underpants were filthy with toxic chemicals. Then there was me, more stunned that this could be a surprise to anybody. I was living in an episode of the Outer Limits, or some strange sci-fi. Know the feeling?!

On at least one occasion, I was ushered out of a Malibu grocery store by nearly every clerk on the clock at this particular the SAMO© corp location, which was particularly heavy-handed in enforcing that their customer’s wear of shards of Satan’s soiled underpants over their mouth AND nose upon entering the store. Most places were content with moderate compliance — the mere site of Satan’s underpants above the shoulders was enough to skirt by. But this retailer’s enforcers were starving to exercise their new powers they had been given and were tripping over themselves to get me and my healthy children — none of which were wearing Satan’s soiled underpants on their faces — out of the store, that they refused to take my money for the 2 products I had managed to collect while naked-facing. It wasn’t all bad.

Being ostracized from society for wanting to help people, and telling them that wearing Satan’s soiled underpants over your nose and mouth is not good for you… it has been surreal — sort of like I imagine a bad trip on acid to be. And I’ve avoided taking acid for this reason. I’ve even heard of some acid trips lasting many years. I really did not want to be on this trip, and I certainly did not intentionally drop any acid. I feel like “I would never have chosen this”, but then again, perhaps I did choose this. And maybe I AM here to experience this, and to assist in leading the way out of a massive cultural malaise where it became hip (required!) to wear Satan’s soiled underpants over your nose and mouth. However I got here, the bad trip has endured so much longer than it feels any bad trip should. (prayer interlude — Lord, if you get me out of this bad trip, I’ll never do it again. 🙏. Please deliver me from the world that would have me wear Satan’s soiled underpants over my nose and mouth!!)

But alas, I have been able to walk in and out of every establishment now for months on end without one of Satan’s unthinking minions so much as asking me to wear satan’s soiled underpants on my face. Perhaps this trip really is lightening up a bit?

For whatever it’s worth, I promise I will never ask you to wear Satan’s soiled underpants on your face to enter any building I ever find myself managing, whether it be a private dwelling or a place of business. My hearts desire is to assist in opening up many community spaces where we can maintain and grow a boundary line where such a request is never thrust upon any individual. I do feel on a mission to create space for people that is designed to enhance learning and flowing in our work, completely and totally free and uninhibited by any kind of items soiled by satan.

I promise you this, at Behere, we will never ask you or your child to wear Satan’s soiled underpants - at all. Not on your face. Not over your nose or mouth. We prefer, in fact, that you not bring any soiled items with you when you come to be with us — but we understand that everyone is on a journey. You be you.

As much as I dislike this whole dirty fiasco, I have seen the value in dog owners rubbing their dogs noses in their own feces after they shit in the house, where it is unwelcome. It teaches them not to do it again. If rubbing the masses noses in Satan’s soiled underpants is what it takes for people to know who Satan is, who his minions are, how they govern and manipulate global affairs — I guess I can live with that.

So there, we’ve all had the opportunity to learn a great lesson by the mass program mandating the wearing of anything soiled by Satan over their mouth and nose by every SAMO© agency that exists. It was disgusting, but we managed our way through it (it’s over, right??), one way or another. I can only hope everyone knows what Satan’s asshole smells like by now — and will reconsider their faithful compliance to gobble it up in the future. But can old dogs learn new tricks? I’m less optimistic towards that possibility than I used to be. It’s clear that many people enjoy the smell, maybe the taste, or whatever it is that keeps them strapping on and huffing Satan’s soiled underpants day after day. It’s always a disappointing site to see this addiction playing out, but I’ve definitely made strides in innerstanding some of the psychology in the victim-perpetrator relationship (Thank you, Robert Malone & Dr. Mattias Desmet 🙏)

The Psychology of Totalitarianism

This trip is nuts. Is it possible that actually dropping some acid will get me OUT of it?

✌️