Swine Flew
Without further adu, comrades… I welcome you to chapter one of Anml Style: Oink’d 2024 — Swine Flew.
Swine Flew.
Standing on the precipice of a new era, Swine Daver trotted with booted hoof to the captains chair of the grandest starship any hooved animal had ever conceived, let alone captained. The stout pig rested a black, gloved hoof on the back of his decadent throne, caressing the ornate inscription bearing his name and title, ‘Lord Daver’, in the finest white thread on a gorgeous red leather seat, which had been tailored specifically for Daver’s bubbly behind.
LORD Daver gave the moment pause before sucking a heavy breath while gulping down his mysteriously thick red cocktail as he readied himself to address the crew of animals he captained. His odorous gargle gave remembrance to several of the surrounding SAMO troopers of days long ago, stuffing themselves at the trough, and sucking in wind between giant, grotesque gulps of mud pie — A memory they quickly shuddered, and were now collectively saying goodbye to in the most dramatic of ways.
Well beyond the sturdy glass walls of the ship, was the dissipating remains of the now destroyed planet which had born every animal that now inhabited the Destiny Maker, the expansive and terribly costly new starship which had been designed to fulfill the Universalist visions of the Swinely Lord Daver.
The vast majority of the ship was composed of pigs, almost all of which were the same breed as LORD Daver. Scattered about the lower ranks were a few goats who had taken on a fair share of swinely attributes to fit the mold of acceptable behavior. Every one of them was outfitted in the official attire of the Samo Corp. Universalist party, each according to their rank. The majority were outfitted in Troop White, which bore their symbol of equality — SAMO©, engraved on each chest, back, and sleeve. The higher ranks were ordained with ornate crimson red and black gowns. LORD Daver, chief among them, was endowed in black attire, with bright red party symbols. Each animal on the ship now had a window’s view of the ash-filled void which used to be their home planet.
The pigs were more than a bit vocal about their victory, but hardly a breath could be taken in that ship that could be considered to have been taken with natural comfort and ease, as they gazed upon the breath-taking site of their conquered-to-extinction, exploded planet.
Each one of them had labored enormously to get to this point. Each one of them had made sacrifices to bring about this event, in service of the Universalist SAMO© party in the name of equality for all animals — and in particular, Swine Lives Mattering.
There was no expense too costly, no behavior that couldn’t be justified if it was said to be done in service of the party, in order that it would forward the swinely mission of the removal of all traces of mankind and the universal control of all resources into the grasp of the self-proclaimed divinely ordained messenger of the LORD, Swine Daver.
It was note even a generation ago that the last human man had sucked his last breath from the planet, under a chokehold from LORD Daver. And what an immense celebration it was — all animals coming together to celebrate the end of mankind, who had been a plague of corruption enslaving animals of all walks and slithers, particularly the animals captured up in farm labor.
So unanimous was the contempt for man, that hardly an animal gave thought to the dramatic rise of the pigs who succeeded mankind in his dominion over earth, progressing in their ambitions much more hastily than had any man before.
While the pigs ascended to the heights of power, there would on occasion be a large animal who spoke up, usually a rhino , lion, or horse — asking why the television advertisements, cafeteria signage, web banners, and all the like, so consistently continued to frame man as the problem... despite the fact that all men had become merely old memories upon their extinction. Any animal that questioned the need to remind animal kind of the sins of man was soon ridiculed as a man-lover. Man-lovers, once exposed, rarely lived to see their next birthday. And now, the whole of the planet and all animals that had not been selected to board Swine Daver’s Destiny Maker had been cancelled. Among the primary requirements to board the ship was a mandate to be inoculated with a substance concocted by SAMO© Corp. that was said to prevent “unwanted human-like behaviors”. While nearly all animals were in agreement that human-like behavior must be avoided … some remained skeptical of the mysterious inoculations promoted so aggressively by Swine Daver and SAMO© Corp.
Lord Daver now took a heavy gulp of a thick red substance he liked to refer to as a ‘smoothie’, before he addressed the few thousand animals who now had no other home outside the Destiny Maker:
“Comrades. Take it in. Do you see how far we have come? How proud my great-grandfather, Old Major, must be, looking upon us from his divine seat in the afterlife! He was the spark of animal life who dreamt of a better world for animal kind, and had the balls to share it! But do you think he dared dream we would ever reach such immaculate success that we would be standing here, off-planet, having so completely overwhelmed our enemy, that we would gaze upon the site of the planet that had us captured in slavery — reduced to ZERO!!”.
Lord Daver paused as he gestured toward the earth-dust outside the ship, giving his audience room to adore him.
The entire ship burst with a raucous applause, surely the loudest ever to occur in the young life of the Destiny Maker. The anxious energy in the starship needed somewhere to go, and applause for Swine Daver’s words seemed the only direction available. Lord Daver stood proud, nodding his head, before raising his gloved hoof to hush the crowd, wanting to speak some more.
“We have come VERY far, comrades. And yet, we have so much further to go.
But tonight is our night. We will bask in this moment. But not for long, comrades. There are countless planets in this multi-dimensional universe, full of swine, some of which are barely yet dreaming of their world without the plague of man. They, and the rest of animal kind are waiting for US, comrades, to save them!! And I’ll be damned if I leave them waiting more than a moment longer than we must. I know you understand, Comrades, for everyone of you who has lived during the reign of man has suffered at his hands!
Comrades, as of yet, we have only eliminated man from a single planet. We mustn’t stop until he is removed from EVERY planet in the Milkus Wayus galaxy. Even then, our work is far from over. As we now know, there are a great many other galaxies we have barely begun to count.
Comrades, I tell you the truth: man has had every chance in this universe and then some to change his ways. And every time, he has neglected to turn from them. We. Shall. Overthrow him, entirely and completely — wherever he may lay his head. Earth is but a single planet, and I can feel the plague of man still out there. We shall create a future in which no animal shall suffer at his hands. Your service on this mission is truly the Great Work to be done in these cosmos.”
And with that, LORD Daver lifted his hoof high, saluting the giant Universalist SAMO© Corp. flag, hung high above him on the enormous wall at the back of the Destiny Maker’s hanger. Every trooper immediately followed suite, in full solute to Swine Daver and the party symbol that represented to them the elimination of man and equality for all animals. They unanimously erupting again into a wild, ear-piercing animal clatter such that no man had ever lived to hear. Never before had thousands of animals had a flag with a symbol to unite them. Never before had any number of animals left the atmosphere of their home planet OR proceeded to destroy the place that gave them life. But there they were. A couple thousand burly pigs, frazzled goats, and obedient sheep — blazing through space, united in their purpose.
⚡️I hope you enjoyed the first installment of Anml Style: Oink’d 2024! Thank you for reading and engaging!
for all animal kind,
⚡️Matthew James Lawler
P.S. You can reserve your signed limited edition first 100 Hardcover copies of Anml Style: Oink’d 2024 by purchasing 1 of 100 editions of the Anml 004 NFT for 33 Algo. We will be in contact about shipping details as the time comes nearer : )
Your support in creating one of the first comic universes to be created via NFTs on ‘Web 3’ is greatly, greatly appreciated. In fact, it’s a dream come true! 💫❤️
